Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
