I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
