My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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