That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
