yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
