guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
