I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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