I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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