dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
