I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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