I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize