Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
