see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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