I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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