Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I checked into jail on foursquare
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
