Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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