Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
