I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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