yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The uberlube is also flammable
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
