ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
