Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
