Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
