she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
