So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
