the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize