just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize