That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
