He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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