I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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