My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
