we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
