My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
