So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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