i think my tv is drunk
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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