so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
