Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can I color on your dick again?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
