Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
