i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
