it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
