nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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