U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
