question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
