So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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