Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
