I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
