Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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