My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
