paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
