No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
