so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
