just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
