Do you still have your period?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
