she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize