Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
