How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
