Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
