Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
