I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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