wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
