This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
