you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
