I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
