3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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